What NOT to Do During the IVF TWW (Two Week Wait): Tips for Managing Anxiety and Uncertainty

The Two Week Wait (TWW)-  that anxious stretch after ovulation or an embryo transfer- can be one of the most overwhelming parts of IVF or IUI treatment. Feeling anxious, restless, and uncertain is completely normal. Here are some tips to help you avoid common mistakes that often increase stress during this time.

Don’t Expect Calm, Peaceful Detachment

It’s easy to think you “should” feel calm or detached during the TWW. I’m not saying you shouldn’t aim for that emotional state, but this is a high-pressure time, after so much effort, physical discomfort, and emotional investment. Anxiety is a completely appropriate response.

Tip: Accept your anxiety instead of resisting it. Resistance often increases tension and negative self-talk. Naming, acknowledging, and normalizing your feelings is the first step toward soothing them.

Don’t Start Without an Emotional Coping Toolkit

Before your TWW begins, prepare strategies to help manage anxiety and stress. Consider using:

• Guided meditations: There are even meditations made specifically for the TWW!

• Music playlists: Choose songs that match the mood you want to cultivate.

• Journaling prompts: For self-reflection or simply expressing feelings.

• Calming activities: Non-toxic aromatherapy, light reading, or shows/movies for distraction.

Don’t Stop Moving Your Body (Unless Advised Otherwise)

Gentle movement can help reduce tension and anxiety.

• Daily slow walks in nature

• Light stretching or restorative yoga

Don’t Overuse Doctor Google (or ChatGPT) for Symptom Checking

Pregnancy symptoms and PMS symptoms are nearly identical. Searching online often increases anxiety rather than providing clarity. If you do find yourself Googling symptoms, be gentle with yourself — it’s a natural way to try to feel in control during a time that often feels powerless. You can always pause, reset, and decide to refrain from Googling next time.

Don’t Test Too Early

Early tests can give inaccurate results in either direction (false positives or false negatives.) Waiting for your clinic’s beta test or scheduled test often provides more clarity and reduces confusion.

Remember: If you do test early, don’t shame yourself — just proceed gently, keeping in mind the limitations of early testing.

Don’t Engage With Triggering Friends or Family

Even well-meaning loved ones can say things that trigger anxiety. Some may be overly negative, constantly focusing on what could go wrong, while others are overly hopeful, insisting ‘it will definitely work this time!’ Either extreme can increase stress. Limit your conversations to people who calm your nervous system, rather than activate it.

Examples:

• A friend repeatedly tells you about a woman she knows who went through 15 transfers before she had success.

• After multiple failed transfers, a parent might say, “I’m certain I will have a grandchild after this transfer!”

• Stick with those who offer neutral support or comfort.

Don’t Ignore Your Intuition

You know yourself best. The TWW might call for:

• Quiet, restorative time if you feel tired, overstimulated, or self-reflective

• Engaging work or social plans if distraction helps

Trust your instincts and adjust your coping strategies accordingly.

Final Thoughts

Every TWW is different. These tips are a guide, not a rulebook. Your emotional needs may shift from day to day. Be gentle with yourself and trust your intuition during this high-stress period. You’re doing the best you can in a time of uncertainty.